feliz aniversario

Yesterday for about 15 minutes I focused solely on cutting a fruit salad. I was at a despedida (going away party) for my friend Michelle, and had left the table during dinner to go make my contribution to dessert. It was only when I was finishing that I realized how focused I had been on washing the fruit, peeling it, and making it into bite sized pieces. I had tuned out the room full of loud conversations, brought my eyes down to the cutting board, and simply sliced fruit while trying not to cut myself. And the thing is, it felt like it had been a while since I had been so singularly focused on something. It felt really good. I usually have my attention spread out all over the place, we all do really, or at least those of my generation and younger. When I'm on the computer, or working, or cleaning or talking to a friend, I am most likely doing at least one other thing at the same time. I've read about the ways that our culture of multi-tasking has affected the average person's ability to focus, and I definitely believe it, but don't usually think much about it (because I'm probably already busy thinking about a couple other things). But this fruit salad...it helped me. It reminded me how satisfying is is to put all my effort into one thing, even if for just a short time. It gave my mind a well-deserved rest, a little working meditation if you will, and when I looked up, things felt different.

Yesterday wasn't just the day of the fruit salad epiphany, it was also my one year anniversary with Buenos Aires. It was one year ago that I stepped off a plane after a 22 hour flight, looked around at the cold, rainy weather and the city full of unknowns, and thought, "Get me the hell out of here." I left a job, friends, family and city that I loved, not to mention the lovely Bay Area summer, and upon arrival this grandiose idea of having a South American adventure was no longer exciting. It felt overwhelming, and kind of stupid. Thankfully I hung in there, and took things a day at a time and took lots of little baby steps of faith (after that huge initial leap), and a year later I can say that it was absolutely the right choice for me to come here. I am in love with this city. In fact, my relationship with Buenos Aires has been the defining relationship of my life this year. Though it frustrates and challenges me and sometimes BA is in the doghouse, there is also care and excitement and love between us. Besides, the making up is the fun part anyway.

And so, to my beloved Buenos Aires, I thank you for giving me the opportunity to find out who I am and for giving me the space to create myself as who I want to be. And thank you too to the folks back home who might not understand this relationship, but support it all the same.